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What drives your decision-making—your rules or your values? Imagine a good friend asks you for a loan and you know, despite your friend’s best intentions, you will likely never get your money back. Do you agree to loan the money because that’s what friends are supposed to do or because you value this friendship more than the money? Do you decline to loan the money because friends and money don’t mix or because you value maintaining boundaries in all your relationships?
Feelings come in waves, often appearing out of the blue, triggered by a memory, words overheard, pictures or experiences. The more we are trying to reign them in, suppress or ignore them, the stronger and more persistent they get — if not in the moment then sometime later, even after many years. Many people find emotions bubbling up decades after they thought they had dealt with them or they were no longer relevant.
Feeling love and compassion for others can be difficult. But acting toward ourselves with love and compassion can be even more challenging.
Psychotherapy is swiftly changing, as are the people we serve. One new element is what we are learning in areas of trauma resolution, particularly methods similar to Somatic Experiencing®, focalizing, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), and sensorimotor psychotherapy. A new world of healing is surely upon us—and it is a breath of fresh air.
It is easier to say what didn’t work than to count up the things that did work. Especially as we arrive at the end of yet another relationship (dating, marriage) it is more common to identify the things that broke down.
Anxiety is tough, not just for the people who have it, but also for the people who love them. If you’re one of those people, you know too well that the second-hand experience of anxiety feels bad enough, and you’d do anything to make it better for the one going through it.
We all have busy schedules that can sometimes make self-care and stress management challenging. Many of us understand the importance of a daily 30-minute fitness regimen, meditation practice, or yoga class for our overall well-being. So are we out of luck when we don’t have 30 minutes in the day for a stress-buster? Are we doomed to be flooded by stress hormones all day long? Absolutely not. There is plenty we can do with only minutes in the day to de-stress.