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It is a perplexing human response: Survivors are frequently stricken with profound guilt if they were in the company of others who were not so fortunate during a traumatic event. This can happen when there is no rational basis for feelings of failure; indeed, even those who respond heroically and saved others’ lives are frequently overwhelmed by survivor guilt.
The betrayal could be your partner's infidelity or it could be your best friend’s dropping you for a new friend. You might also feel betrayed if your significant other didn't defend you in an argument with others. Or maybe your best friend didn't reach out to you when they knew you were feeling down.
The latest statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health report that approximately 18 percent of American adults ages 18-54 have an anxiety disorder in a given year. Approximately 10 percent of individuals ages 18 and over will suffer from a depressive illness. The prevalence is real and staggering across the country.
Ever wonder how it is that we all seem to know how to make conversation work? Even when we aren’t brilliant conversationalists in terms of what we talk about, we still seem to follow some underlying rules for how conversations should be managed. For instance, that we should take turns, that we need to try to be clear, that we talk in snippets and not soliloquies. But what is this strange guiding force that drives our conversations forward?
If you have high functioning anxiety, you may function well on the outside while internally you feel intense anxiety that others may not detect. High functioning anxiety is not a medical diagnosis, but it can still be serious for anybody who experiences it.
When you seek information from your partner, chances are you assume that no matter how you ask the question, you’ll get the same answer. You and your partner may even pride yourselves on your ability to read each other’s minds so that the exact words you use may seem irrelevant. However, if you stop and think about these assumptions, it might occur to you that there is more to question-asking as a strategy than you realize.
Cognitive distortions are irrational ways of thinking that aren’t helpful. Everyone has them from time to time, but when they become excessive, they can cause distress or negatively impact your quality of life. They can also lead to maladaptive behaviors and increase your risk for mental health disorders like depression.1
Some couples simply don’t talk. Well, they talk mostly about logistics—who’s picking up the kids, what time are you getting home—or superficial matters—the how-was-your-day? They don’t have serious conversations—intimate ones about how they really feel and what is going inside them and in their lives—or about problems in the relationship.